breaking in the darkness
by shiirojasmine
Summary: Allen has become a Noah, courtesy of the Noah family. Road is bored and captures the wrong Exorcist. And Allen's favorite game? Breaking Kanda bit by bit. AreKan LaLena Lucky Rolin
1. Mistaken Hostage

Breaking in the Dark Chapter One: Mistakened Hostage

"I'm booored," the petite Noah says, sprawled over the Earl's throne.

"Go bother Lero then," the newest Noah replies, not looking up from the newspaper he is currently engrossed in.

"But I can't find him. Stupid umbrella," she scoffs.

"Think of it as hide and seek, Road. If you don't like that, then bring home an Exorcist or two," he says monotone. He remembers the days when he was an Exorcist, but he dismisses them the way a Bookman would've done, but he isn't a Bookman. Lavi is. She thinks about it for a moment, smiling.

"Thanks, Allen. That's a good idea," she says, running off. He shakes her head, hoping she wouldn't manage to get herself into trouble. "You, you, and you," she says, summoning several level two and three Akuma. "Lee Lenalee." The nod, disappearing into thin air. Satisfied, she goes to pester the new Noah to help her with her Spanish homework.

"AKUMA! There are Akuma!" the Gatekeeper wails. He better not be wrong this time, Kanda grumbles to himself, running with Lenalee and Lavi closely behind. The ready their Innocence for battle, brandishing (except for Lenalee) them menacingly. They separate with Kanda at the front and Lenalee and Lavi at the sides.

A shower of bullets threaten to impale his female companion, and he pushes her out of the way, careful to dodge them himself. What he doesn't expect is when Mugen was torn from his fingers and his is suddenly high above the horror struck faces of his... friends.

'No,' he thinks. This isn't a good time to think of them as such. He futilely attempts to claw his way out with his hands. It only causes him to become more tangled than he already was. The net rises higher and higher as the Akuma flies upwards and is whisked away from the Dark Order.

Kanda doesn't know where they are heading (much to his chagrin), but dread pools down into the pits of his stomach as the sky around them warps into different colors and demented shapes. He honestly hopes they weren't bound for the Earl's place.

He didn't know how right he is.

"We have to save him!" Lenalee cries, the worry forming into the tears that wells in her dark, Asian eyes.

"Lenalee, calm down! There's nothing we can do for him now. Besides, this is Kanda Yu we're talking about! He'll be fine," Lavi says, smiling forcefully to reassure her, though he himself sounds dubious. He feels guilty for letting his guard down, even if it was for a split second, for letting his best friend be captured. His green eyes darken in frustration. First Allen, and now Yu. Who is going to be next?

"...you're right," he sighs. "But we should inform Komui and General Tiedoll first." He returns the hammer back to its holster secured firmly on his thigh, for Lenalee's and his sakes, he hopes that not much harm will come to the proud Japanese man.

Kanda glares stright into the tanned girl's golden eyes, his instincts screaming that is an enemy. "Who are you?" The tone is accusatory, ande he dislikes her immediately.

"That's what I want to know," he says bitingly.

"You're not Lenalee." His temper hits the roof, his face turning a little red.

"And just how the hell do I look like a girl!" he shouts angrily.

The female Noah places her hands on her hips. "Cha bo" as the Cantonese call it: trouble. She looks every bit as disappointed and angry as he is. "I suppose I can't be picky." She peers insultingly close to his face. "And you are pretty..." This fact brightens her mood. It's a blow to his pride. Men aren't supposed to be pretty. "...but I'd rather have Lenalee here."

"Then how about you set me free and let me go back to the Dark Order?" he suggests pleasantly.

"No, not until she comes," she says. He narrows his eyes. 'I am so slicing you into little bits when I get out of here,' he decides. "What's your name?"

"Like I'd tell scum like you," is his automatic reply.

Her mood takes an abrupt turn to malevolence. "I can kill you," she threatens.

"As if I'd let you!" he snarls back.

"You know I can," she whispers close to his ear. "You're practically helpless right now. I can do anytihng I want to you." She blows her warm breath at the side of his face. "Anything." There is something menacing lying underneath the girl's words that he can't help but know is true.

"Kanda Yu..." he says reluctantly.

She seems smug. "Road Camelot. Now, that wasn't so hard, was it?" He unties him, flinging him into a dimly lit room before he can protest. "From now on, this is your new room!" she chirps. She closes the dorr slowly until all he can see is her one of her glaring golden eyes. 


	2. Among Strangers

Breaking in the Darkness Chapter Two: Among Strangers

Kanda sits on the narrow cot, hugging his knees tightly to his chest as he shivers slightly from the cold. He misses the feel of Mugen strapped to his waist, and he stares down at his hands longingly, yearning to hold his precious sword, one of his only possessions left in the world. The door opens, and he hisses at the blinding light quickly filling the room. His eyes adjust. Instead of Road, it is a man with snow white hair, silvery eyes, and an oh so familiar curse mark.

"Moyashi?" He refuses to admit that his voice has a certain surpised and awed quality to it, and he looks away, facing the wall next to him instead. "What do you want?" he asks warily.

Allen raises a white eyebrow. "Is that any way to greet a comrade after so long?" he says, amused.

"Go away. I have no wish to see Noah scum."

Allen laughs sardonically. Kanda shivers, not used to the once innocent appearing boy laughing so cold and mockingly. "Road wouldn't be pleased if she heard you say that." he says nothing. "I see you're still quite the conversationalist."

"And you talk too much," he shots crossly.

"You're exactly the way I remember," Allen laughs again. He stares at the Japanese boy's face, his grin growing wider. "Even more beautiful than I remember." Kanda freezes, scooting farther against the wall. With every inch he moves back, Allen moves forward. He curses himself. He has allowed himself to be trapped against a corner. Kanda lets his fist fly, but the ex Exorcist catches it with his unactivated Innocence easily.

"Very beautiful," Allen breathes as he reaches for his cheek. The gesture is very soft and tender, affectionate even. Half of him is repulsed because Allen is now a Noah, yet the other wants to lean into the touch. "Road always tells me that she loves dressing up her dolls." He looks down at Kanda with a faint smile. "But you're pretty whether or not she dresses you up." Kanda gasps in both disgust as pleasant surprise as the Noah's hands roam lower... and lower... and lower...

"Allen!" Road shouts irately. "He's my doll!" Kanda's lips press together in a thin line. 'I don't belong to anyone.'

The English Noah shrugs. "I know, I know. But that doesn't mean I can't have my fun with him..."

"And haven't you ever heard of 'ask before you borrow'?" she says in mock anger.

"What do you think he's doing?" Lenalee thinks aloud, slurping up nervously her miso ramen.

"Probably locked up in a room where he's being tortured," Lavi offers an idea. The Chinese girl blanches, distressed over this horrid, yet most likely true, suggestion. "Ah, stupid me. I didn't mean that," he amends, hoping to distract his distraught girlfriend.

"Yu," Road says impatiently, her eyes gleaming. He is sickened that she, an unfeeling Noah, is using his first name. Only Lavi dared call him by that name, but even he barely survives Mugen each time he does so. "Put it on," she insists.

"I'm not putting it on!" he says mulishly.

"Allen!" she whines. One metallic clawed hand encircles both his writs, and his shirt is fforcibly ripped off, exposing his bandaged chest. "What are you, a girl?" she laughs, pulling at the wraps. After several hard tugs, the cloth comes loose under her fingers. The tips of her fingers caress the lotus tattoo over his heart. He recoils from her touch. He comtemplates biting her grubby fingers off, but Allen clenches his other hand tightly in the strands of his black hair, unabling his head to move forward.

Road giggles as she proceeds to dress Kanda up in extravagant silks. Theey drape on him loosely, concealing his slender muscled figure. Allen watches in unveiled interest as she doesn't bother to tie the last layer together. She steps bacl, admiring her work. "There," she says proudly.

"What's all the commotion back here?" the twins ask simultaneously as they entered the room.

"Jasdero, Debitto," Road beams. "Don't tell the Earl, okay?" She drags Kanda over, and they inspect him, careful not to set the easily angered man off too much.

"He looks like a girl," Debitto says, and they burst into laughter.

"I hate you all," he mutters darkly.

"We know," Road says, hugging the Japanese Exorcist from behind. He curls his lips back to bare his teeth as he lifts a fisted hand to punch one of the cackling twins. Not an inch away from Jasdero's nose, Road grips his arm tightly.

"What?" He glares in the female's direction. She smiles angelically in response.

"You're my doll," she explain slowly, as if he were s stupid , young child. "I can't have you going around hitting my relative." His eyes narrow, and he huffs indignantly. She sends him back to his tiny room, and the dodor slams shut behind him. Food is slipped through a small, narrow slit on a tray. He sighs, grasping blindly for his concealed meal. One bowl, a plate, and a cup, he counts. He picks up what he believes to be a spoon, scooping up who-knows-what. He sniffs it tentatively. It smell sanitary... a bit like curry. It's hard for him to imagine Noahs eat human food, since they were so far from human.

He has never been a man of a large appetite, but even he will go hungry if not fed for a day or two. Without breathing, he wolfs down the food and washes it down with the liquid, starting in on the plate. It's sweet, disgustingly so, but he doesn't care too much at the moment. He couldn't afford to be picky now anyway.

He doesn't notice as his movements becomes slower, but he feels exhausted, blaming it all on the day's events. His eyes are half lidded as he flops onto the bed, curling underneath the coarse, rough sheets. 


	3. Present

Breaking in the Darkness  
Chapter Three: Present

"Happy birthday, Allen, and happy first day here!" Road shouted, her voice high and girlish as she pounced onto his king sized bed, bouncing up and down. Allen groans, covering his head with a fluffy pillow. "Come on!" she whines, stripping the blankets off his body. He shivers, exposed to the unforgivable cold air.

She frowns, pouting. "I guess you don't want my present then..."

"...what present?" he says suspiciously.

She smiles slyly. "My birthday present to you, of course. Silly boy."

"...it's not something weird, is it?"

She appears shocked, clutching her chest in mock distress. "Why Allen, what makes you say that?" she says innocently.

"I don't know, maybe it has to do with a certain birthday party where-" She waved him off."It's not like that." She smirks. "Don't be such a wet blanket," she chides. "I can assure you, it's much, much better."

He sighs, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed in an annoyed manner. What could possibly be so good about her so-called gift? The last one, while he was still at the Black Order, ended in complete disaster. "What is it?"

Road pouts. "It's no fun if you're not surprised."

"How will I be surprised if I already know there's a gift?" he says dryly.

"Trust me. You'll definitely be surprised."

"Am I supposed to find it or something?"

She cocks her head to the side slightly. "Not unless you want to."

"I don't."

"I thought so." She smiles. "It's in the special cell." Road's "special cell" is, like any other room in the Earl's place, is extravagant and beautiful. There is an unworldly feel to that room. There is no ceiling, instead, an endless black sky with glittering, faraway stars. The floor is normal, made of smooth, white marble that rivals the moon's own whiteness, but there is no moon tonight.

He steps into the room, glancing around. '_What would Road consider strange enough to be a present,_' he thinks to himself.

His mouth drops open, but it steadily curves to a smile.

The last thing that anyone would expect is Kanda unconscious.

Tied up.

All dolled up.

Had he been "Allen of the Black Order", he would've stood with shock and laughter, but he is now "Allen the Noah." He chuckles, moving to the center of the room and lowers himself to face Kanda at eye level. He reaches out to touch the brunet's cheek, but stops short. '_Nah, I shouldn't,_' he thinks.

Allen turns back to the door. As he walks, he hears a soft moan. Heat pools around his lower belly, and he looks back, feeling uncomfortable, and for the first time in months, nervous. The Japanese man's eyelashes flutter, touching his slightly pink- from the blush that Road must've added, he realizes- cheeks. There is no lipstick staining the Exorcist's lips, but the dark natural color more than makes up for it.

He smirks, remembering the first time he met Kanda. He could've sowrn the man was a woman... until he looked down at his bandaged chest. "_M... Moyashi...?_" The swordsman is suddenly wide awake and alert and stuttering. "W-what are you d-doing here, you-"

"Might I remind you that I live here," Allen says, folding his arms against his chest.

"You..." Kanda looks at him sideways. "...haven't done anything to me, have you?"

"Maybe." He cocks his head to the side a bit. He's in a teasing, playful mood. "Maybe not." Kanda narrows his eyes, struggling against the bonds of the ropes. He cries out in frustration.

"...you've become weak."

Kanda glares up at him intensely, his face shadowed by the darkness. "I've been given no time or room to train."

Allen laughs softly. "I guess that is our fault," he admits. "You aren't resisting much." He frowns, his eyes melancholic. "You should," he whispers.

Kanda stares at him, and Allen stares back, wondering when the older man's eyes were so completely unguarded. How they used to be such a dark shade of blue, where he can never see the bottom of his dark secrets, and yet now he can read the fear and doubt in the man's eyes so clearly. He would laugh at the irony of it all, at how they almost seemed to switch personalities- he being sarcastic and distant, and Kanda now wearing his heart on his sleeve.

"Why? You said it yourself earlier. You're my comrade."

Allen narrows his silver eyes. "I was joking."

"We- I trusted you."

"You used to," Allen corrects. "You can't afford to now." Kanda looks down, strictly at his feet. He grins slightly. "You're scared."

Kanda pales. "Am not!" he denies quickly.

"The question is... of what?" he says lightly.

"Like I'll tell you anything," he replies, masking his nervousness with indifference, flavored with a hint of anger.

Allen's frown deepens and his brows burrow. "That's right," he says calmly, bitterness lacing his voice. "You're Kanda Yu. You don't tell anyone how you feel, much less your weaknesses and your secrets."

"It's good that you know," he says coldly.

The cursed, white haired boy leans forward, his face close to Kanda's. "Then... I'll have to force them out of you."

Kanda's breath promptly hitches in his throat. He desperately wants to lean back, but that would result in a painful fall. He presses the tips of his toes against the smooth marble floor, tipping back as far as he dared. "You better not-"

"I better not what?" Allen asks, their noses practically touching.

"Don't... don't do that." Kanda closes his eyes. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. He reopens then, full on glaring at Allen. "I hate you," he says sourly.

"No you don't." Allen adjusts the lotus that Road placed around the loose bun that held half of Kanda's hair back. "You never did."

"Liar." Even he couldn't keep the shaking out of his voice. "I've always hated you."

"But you said you trusted me."

"And like you said, I can't afford to now." Allen laughs faintly.

"Touche." He looks at Kanda appraisingly. "I suppose you haven't changed all too much. You still pay attention quite well at little details."

"That detail wasn't little."

"But you paid attention to it all the same."

Kanda scowls. "Shut up."

Allen raises an eyebrow. "And just how," he lowers his voice a little, "do you suggest to make me do that?"

He intensifies his glare. Allen places his arms around the older man's neck, nudging his nose against its crook. "I should kill you," he says softly, blowing small puffs of air against the smooth skin of Kanda's neck. Kanda stiffens, pressing against the chair. "The Earl would be happier that way..." he sighs. "But I wouldn't."

"Then why are you a Noah?"

Allen pulls back, his eyes peering into Kanda's searchingly. "It may not seem like it, but Noahs are really loving." He pauses. "To each other, anyway." He smiles weakly. Kanda could almost see the boy he used to know in that face for a moment. Allen closes his eyes, wrapping his arms tighter around the Japanese Exorcist. "I know I said that I wanted to be destroyer that can save people, but the Earl kinda has a point, you know. Humans destroy themselves everyday and are destroying the world slowly. We're all going to die soon..." Kanda mentally shakes his head. This couldn't be Allen talking.

"I feel happier here. For once, I actually feel like I belong somewhere."

"You had a family back at the Black Order," Kanda says harshly. "Lenalee, Lavi, Komui, everybody-" he refrains from mentioning himself, "-they all cared about you. They trusted you!" He lowers his voice to a soft whisper. "Or had they been trash to you all along...?"

"'Everybody'..." Allen says absentmindedly, wistfully, his eyes taking on a faraway gaze. He turns to Kanda slowly. "Does that include you?" he prompts.

'Yes...' "Of course not, stupid _Moyashi_!"

"Honestly?"

"Yes!" Kanda tries to ignore the close proximity the other one is forcing onto him.

Allen takes a lock of Kanda's hair, twisting it around his index finger. "You look so beautiful right now." Kanda bites his lower lip, clenching his fists as his knuckles turned white.

He unties Kanda from the chair. The Japanese man stands up as he rubs the dark red welts on his wrists, encouraging the blood circulation. Allen spoons Kanda against his body, hugging him fiercely. "If you were given a choice, would you stay here..." _'...with me?'_

Kanda is speechless, and finds himself unable to move for the who-knows-how-many time of the day._ 'Maybe...' _he finds himself thinking. He slaps himself mentally, hating that he is giving into the charms, the warm familiarity of his once friend. "I can't." _'I shouldn't_,' he thinks.

"They won't miss you. Even if the Black Order are short on Exorcists, Exorcists die everyday. You won't be missed." Kanda himself knows this is, in a way, true. Allen slips his leg between Kanda's.

"You!" Kanda gasps. "You promised not to do that!" he hisses.

Allen shrugs. "We have never mentioned this in our entire conversation, so therefore, I never made such a promise." The white-haired man pushes him down to the floor. Kanda hisses in pain as his head raps sharply against the stone hard floor. It goes numb for a few minutes, and dulls to a throbbing pain. The Noah tears off Kanda's sash, pleased when the loose, black silk of the kimono comes loose.

"Don't..." Kanda says. "...please..." He hates himself for pleading, sounding so pathetically weak.

Allen smirks. "No," he says, parting Kanda's clothes away from his body.


	4. Into Enemy Territory

Breaking in the Darkness

Chapter Four: Into Enemy Territory

"Remind me why I'm here again, and with this stupid idiot of an Exorcist hugging me?" grumbles Tag as Lenalee plays with her clipboard. He waits, seeing the Chinese older girl wrinkle her nose in distaste as she stretches her legs out from beneath her since they fell asleep. Lavi is smiling his usual, forced, but very realistic smile while unable to stop his ever-flapping lips. "Do let go, Master Lavi."

Lavi pouts as he reluctantly lets go; Tag shivers. A pouting apprentice Bookman is disturbing. "Okay, I've been going over this plan over and over in my mind for all night, so please listen before you call me an idiot and try to stop me from ever trying to execute this idea," Lenalee says. She goes on for the next fifteen minutes, explaining the basic plots of her rescue plan. "I know it's risky, so we'll probably need General Tiedoll."

"Why don't we contact Master Walker as well?" Tag interrupts. "Perhaps he can be of help."

"I don't know... he's been missing for awhile and none of us know where he is," Lavi says.

"Yes," echoes Lenalee. "He hasn't contacted us for _months._" Tag knows there must be a reason behind this, maybe even a story behind this.

"Perhaps we can look for Master Allen a bit while we look for Master Kanda," Tag finally suggests, thoughtfully.

"Does that mean you accept our plan?" Lenalee asks with a smile.

"We should have reinforcements," he says.

Lavi shakes his head. "I don't think that there that many people that cared in the first place, and the people that do are us or away on a mission," he sighs. "We would've gotten Miranda and Krory if that were possible."

"And so you got me instead," Tag finishes gloomily. "Fine, I'll come, but only to say this is a stupid idea and we should've never done it without backup. I thought General Tiedoll and Bookman were around."

"They're going to say it's stupid," the orange-haired boy says.

"Wow, isn't that obvious," Tag says sarcastically. _'I'm sure I'm going to regret this...'_

**Earl's Palace...**

"Come on, don't you want to eat?" Allen says, opening the door slightly. Kanda looks up, shying away from the light and into the cover of the darkness. _'Not with you. Not after what you did,'_ Kanda thinks. He flinches as Allen reaches for him impatiently, taking him by the hand.

"I'm not hungry." At that exact moment, his stomach grumbles in protest. _'Traitor.' _Allen smirks in an easy victory as he pulls Kanda out of his room. "I'm not dressed properly," Kanda said uncomfortably. It is true. After their "activity," he is scant of clothes, clutching a thin, translucent cloth that wraps only two or three times around his waist.

"They won't care," Allen says nonchalantly, pulling Kanda close. Kanda cringes, wanting to be alone in the darkness of his room again, hating being pressed against the other so closely.

"I want to want something _decent_," he says, stressing the word "decent".

"Let me think. _No_," Allen says. He opens the door to a room, revealing a round table, with several Noahs sitting. He knows some of them: Road and Skin Bolic. He doesn't know the blonde. The large man sitting at the front… that must be the Millennium Earl. The Earl's beady black eyes scrutinizes him, and Kanda steps back an inch. The wide, toothy smile sickens him.

"Allen," the Earl's eyes turn to the white-haired Noah. "Why is an _Exorcist _here?"

"Ask Road." The Earl sighs wearily, though it is difficult to tell since he is still smiling so widely.

"Dear Road, of all humans, an _Exorcist._" He looks at Kanda again. "At least he seems broken." Kanda doesn't say anything, he doesn't glare. Allen ushers the Japanese boy into a seat beside him, ordering some breakfast for the both of him. The plates are set before them.

Kanda looks down at his food, picking it apart with his fork, unsure of whether or not he should take a bite. It could be poisoned for all he knows. "There's nothing wrong with the food just because it's prepared and served by an Akuma," Road pipes. He gives a small nod, taking tiny, hesitant bites. Allen notices this, and he's not sure whether or not he likes this new, obedient side of the Japanese boy.

Road is on Allen's other side. She giggles, seeing Kanda's attire. "Ooh… you did the dirty with him!" The Earl doesn't seem to care, eating his plate of food. Kanda fidgets with the end od his sash, not paying any attention to his meal now.

Allen grins. "Maybe."

"Was he any good?"

Allen's smile broadens. "Very." He laughs. "The best."

"Maybe I'll borrow him sometime," Road suggests.

Allen sticks out her tongue. "No way." He wraps his arms around Kanda's thin waist. "He's mine. You can't have him."

"I was the one that _gave _him to you," Road pouts.

"I know. Can't say I'm not thankful," he replies. He finishes eating, dragging Kanda out of the dining room and back into the hallway. "It doesn't hurt too much, does it?"

"A… a little," Kanda stutters. "I don't need any help…"

"Want to try it again? I'll be nicer…" Allen says, bringing Kanda closer to him. Kanda chews on his lower lip, not making any effort to walk away. "You can always say 'no'."

"You didn't give me that choice last night," Kanda said quietly. "You didn't let me stay in my room a few minutes ago."

"I know, but I am now," Allen says.

Kanda allows himself be held by the British Noah. "I… I don't know. I want to, but at the same time I don't want to say it."

Allen kisses him sweetly on the forehead. "I'll take that as a no for now. I wonder what it will like if I were still at the Black Order and still an Exorcist. Being Cross's disciple, I'd probably still make the first move."

"The first move?"

Allen playfully thrusts his hip forward against Kanda's. "Meaning I'd still probably do you the first time."

**With Lenalee…**

Lenalee looks at her surroundings with interest. She wonders how she has allowed Lavi and Tag to convince her to go in first, regretting her decision to say yes deeply. She sighed miserably. _'I should've never agreed to this,' _she mopes. _'OMG, I think I'm __**lost**__!' _She looks back and forth. The halls look completely the same. _'I'm going to die because I'm clearly going to be found and killed by a Noah/Akuma.'_ Maybe Road would go easy on her. The petite Noah seems to like her enough.

"Ah… what do we have here?" a cattish voice says as light footsteps dance around her. _'Oh no,'_ she thinks. She didn't really want to be found by a Noah, even if said Noah is Road. "Yea! It's my old doll, she's come back to me!" Road clomps onto her, snuggling into her side. "Now we can play!"

"R…Road," Lenalee says nervously, looking down at the shorter, tanned female. "How are you?"

"I'm happy to see you, thank you very much," Road says. Her face darkens. "Are you here with anyone else or just yourself?"

"Um… just myself?" she says, more of a question than a statement.

"That's good," the female Noah says, please. "I'm sure Allen and Yu-_chan_ would be happy to see you." _'I know that Kanda's here… but __**Allen**__? What's he doing here? Was he captured too?' _Road smiles wickedly. "The Earl said to Allen if he came to work for the Earl, he could get anything he wanted. Do _you_ know what Allen wants?" she asks, close to Lenalee's face. "He wants-"

"Road, is there an intruder here-" Allen stops, incredulous. "Lenalee? What are you doing here?"

"That's exactly what I want to ask you!" the Chinese Exorcist snaps. "Why are you here with the Noahs of all people!?" Allen's cursed eye flashes red for a second as his hand brushes his bangs away from his forehead. She gasps, seeing the row of crosses across the pale flesh.

"I am one," he says seriously. "Ever since the day Tyki Mick died, for some reason, his death awakened the blood of the Noahs within me."

"How can you! You could've told us!" she shouts.

"Can I?" he asks, amused. "You and the rest of the Exorcists would rather kill me the minute you guys knew." Lenalee opens her mouth, but looks away guiltily. "You can't deny it, can you?" he asks smugly.

"N-never mind," she says. "I was hoping you would help me bring Kanda back to headquarters, but I can see you have no intention." Her tone is cold, and Allen almost misses the warmth from her, almost.

"He won't come," Allen says confidently.

"Why not? Did you brainwash him?" Lenalee says boldly.

"No, but he won't come."

"Because," Allen says, narrowing his eyes at her. "He's mine."

"There's no way you're Allen. He's… not that sort of person."

"And you would know," Allen chuckles. "You never really knew 'me'. I never showed you the real 'me'."

"Than what _is _the 'real' you?" she challenges angrily.

"I'm not sure. But exactly the 'me' that you've been seeing back at the Black Order," he says.

"So it's like that," she frowns. "I guess you never really cared about then." His eyes darken slightly.

"It's not like that."

"Then tell me! What is it like?!" Lenalee cries. She hates this Allen. She doesn't want to see him this way. She didn't understand. She has thought that Allen is a kind boy, but she suppose it has always been a mask.

"That's enough," Road says sharply, not liking where this conversation is going. "Come with me, Lenalee." Allen looks at him gratefully and he heads off into the other direction. He doesn't want Kanda to run into her, and Road knows that. Allen doesn't want to deal with the Black Order, so he is never out in on the action.

**With Lavi…**

Lavi waits patiently for Lenalee's signal along with an edgy Tag. "What's taking her so long?" Tag says, scowling as he places his right leg over his left. "I definitely should've never agreed to this…"

"Well, you chose to come," Lavi says. They end up coming without backup, and Tag is nervous even with one of the best Exorcists of the Black Order… partially because there's nothing to stop Lavi from going all flirty or start talking about stupid, boring with him if he is bored.

"For the fact your _girlfriend _is in there, you don't seem too worried," he says irately. Lavi looks up from fidgeting with his tiny hammer.

"Well, I trust her. I know that she can take care of herself," he replies. "The best thing about her is… well, other than her looks and personality… is that she's no damsel in distress." He laughs fondly. "It's what I like about her."

"Chief Komui is _sooo_ going to kill you," Tag states.

"I hope not. I wouldn't want Lenalee to kill me afterwards for being killed by him."

"That doesn't make any sense," he says dryly. He can imagine the picture that the orange haired Exorcist is describing though. Komui would be holding up his drilling menacingly over a begging Lavi, and blood would splay all over. Afterwards, Lenalee would be kicking Lavi's corpse in anger as tears run down her cheeks. "Ew…"

"Hoey, what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing, Master Lavi."

"Ooh, kinky."

"Dumb Lavi. You know what I mean," Tag says, annoyed.

"That's more like it." Tag looks into the distance, watching for any movements. _'Shouldn't Master Lenalee be calling by now?'_He shakes his head. _'I hope she's okay…'_

**With Kanda…**

Kanda walks around with no destination in mind, sighing every few minutes. He honestly doesn't know if he wants to stay here with his enemies, or if he should be back at the Black Order. If he were back home in headquarters, he knows he will be miserable though.

"Kanda." He turns at the familiar voice, smiling timidly. His smiles were always rare, but this is the first time his smile is… nervous.

"A… Allen," he replies. Allen forces on a fake smile, and Kanda wonders if he's done something he shouldn't have done. "_Anou…_ you… look bit mad," he comments.

"Am I _that_ easy to see through?" Allen says, sighing. "You know, I'm really not in the mood to talk." Allen slips his arms around Kanda's waist, his fingers playing around with the buttons of the Japanese man's pants, only to be stopped by Kanda.

"I… not now," Kanda whispers. Allen narrows his eyes, ignoring him.

"I really don't care right now," he says flatly. He presses Kanda against the marbled floor, glaring down at him slightly. Allen clenches a fist of Kanda's shirt, preparing to rip it off right off his body.

"I don't want to go around with no clothes later." Allen sighs in impatience, instead hastily unbuttoning his shirt. He pulls the Kanda's pants around his knees, spreading them wide. "I… don't want this…" Allen stares at him, his eyes indifferent and cold.


	5. Slight Misgivings

Breaking in the Darkness

Chapter Five: Slight Misgivings

Kanda hates how his body is so completely sore, wracking with pain. He groans as he sits himself up, and much to his disappointment he can't stand up, though standing up is completely pointless in tiny, narrow room. His lower parts aches the most. He knows it is unlikely that anyone with ever come for him, since it's been such a lengthy amount of time. That much, he can tell, even though his sense of time is disoriented here.

The hours seem to drag on and he closes his eyes, tired. As of late, he always feels drowsy, unable to remember much of his life at the Black Order. Flashes of red hair, a soft girlish voice with a Chinese accent… a crazed looking man in a lab coat, a middle-aged brown-haired man… He scrunches his eyes in thought. He can't remember their names! He panics for a minute, but it dies down, because he knows that that knowledge wouldn't help him at all now.

He sighs, cradling Mugen close to his chest. He didn't expect it but the other day Allen has forced Road to return his Innocence to him. He wonders why, because surely Allen doesn't care for him in any way. He clutches the hard black sheath of his sword. He is a toy, perhaps a mindless tool in the near future if the Earl wishes. "Ha… ha ha ha…" His gradual laughter soon speeds up, rising with hysteria. Him, helping the Earl? The notion is simply ridiculous, but he knows that this is reality, that this is what will most likely happen. '_I'm going insane,' _he thinks, smiling eerily. He laughs again, softer. _'Maybe I already am.'_

The door to his room creak open, revealing a grinning Road. "Let's play dress-up!" she said happily, eagerly pulling him up effortlessly. "I've got a whole bunch of new dresses. I just _know _that you'll look good in them!" she said, smiling cattily.

"Aa…"

Again, the bright light hits him square in the face, and he squints, filtering out the light. It is so ironic how the Black Order is supposed to be the saviors, the light of the world, yet the world of the Black Order can be so dark, and in comparison, the Earl's Palace is so bright with light whereas headquarters is so depressingly black.

With a thick air of emptiness around him, he watches as Road opens the large closet, her eyes scanning delightedly at its content. She chooses a dark red dress, redder than the sun and redder than the blood that runs through his veins. It looks too thin, small, and overall… indecent, but he says nothing as she dresses him in the silk fabric. "You look so pretty!" she exclaims, grinning widely. "So pretty!"

He stares blankly at nothing in particular, not hearing the Noah babble away. "Road, I got that thing you wa… oh." Kanda's eyes travel to the source of the voice, and he sees Allen suddenly a little hesitant and ashamed. He wonders what the cause of this could be. Allen scuffle his toe of his boot against marble floor. He hands a package sheepishly- most likely another dress- to Road, trying very hard to not look at Kanda.

"Allen, you should see your doll!" Road exclaims. Allen blatantly ignores, and she pouts, whining into his ears until he reluctantly looks at Kanda.

"He looks… nice, Road," he says awkwardly, pulling at his left sleeve, his eyes glancing at Kanda and every few seconds quickly darting away. He looks at the female Noah apologetically. "I have to go right now. I have something I have to do." Road raises an eyebrow.

"Oh? Like what?" she says cheekily.

Allen scowls. "Nothing that concerns you."

"How sad," she mock sighs. "And I was planning to show you my doll."

"You got a new one? So quick? From where?" he asks, curious.

Road smiles. "Actually, she came to me herself."

"She," Allen repeats suspiciously. "You mean-"

"Lenalee," she says, finishing for him. Kanda recalls the image of an Asian girl with wide, violet eyes. Is that Lenalee? Yes, it should be.

"Yes." Allen sounds cautious. "I'd like that. To see her." Road nods, motioning for Allen and Kanda to follow her. Footsteps away, they could hear loud banging on the door. "Let me out!" a feminine, soprano voice howls. The voice is somewhat familiar, and Kanda opens the door. A girl in a Victorian, violet-red taffeta dress tumbles out with a short shriek. She looks up, eyes wide at Kanda and Allen. "Kanda? Kanda, what happened to you?" she asks, shocked, as she stands up, fretting.

"…Lenalee?"

"Yeah, it's me," the Chinese girl says, blushing a light pink at his attire. She turns to Allen, bewilderment written all over her face, before darkening with anger and allegation. "_You're _the one that made him dress up like this, didn't you, Allen."

Allen smiles with slightly narrowed eyes. "No," he says through grit teeth. "This is actually courtesy of Road."

"You know, I thought I heard some odd noises the other night-"

"Lenalee," Allen says threateningly. "You don't want to continue that sentence.

"I do," she insists. "You probably did against his will." Allen fists his hands behind his back, and it shakes. He glowers at her before stomping off, dragging Kanda behind him. He sighs as they turn around the corner, and he slumps against the wall. The girl is likeable, but he can't help but feel loathing for her right now. "So annoying…" he says.

"I thought it was nice… seeing her," Kanda says quietly.

Allen pouts. "I didn't," he says sulkily. "I was honestly planning to leave all of the Black Order behind…"

"I'm here," Kanda says.

"Yeah," Allen chuckles. "There were some things I liked about it, I guess. It's just," he sighs, his eyes almost dreamy. "…that I don't want to be on the receiving end of such hate and anger, you know, from people that have dead loved ones because we couldn't get there in time, but I guess you wouldn't understand, because you were Kanda Yu, the guy that didn't have time nor heart for such things."

Kanda listens, sitting beside Allen with grace and silence. "So why do you could me here?"

Allen looks at him. "…do you wish to leave?"

"I don't know," Kanda admits. Allen scoots over closer.

"What could I do to make you say no?" he says.

"Uh…" Kanda stands up abruptly, walking off in the other direction. "Kanda…" Allen wants to say that he's walking in the direction of the garden, but laughs and decides not to. He feels like having some fresh air, anyway.

The sky is clear today, free of clouds, and a soft watercolor baby blue. Allen believes that the garden here is beautiful. Birds twitter, and much to Allen's surprise, most of them are following Kanda. Kanda frowns, shooing away the tiny flying creatures away with his hand. "Ah… you look quite funny like that," Allen says. Kanda looks at him witheringly, brushing some of the dust off his red dress. That reminds Allen, and his cheeks turn slightly pink. "Uh… why don't you cover yourself up with this?" he says, handing a large, black hoodie to the brunet. Kanda takes it, slipping it over his slender frame, which is thinner from lack of appetite. The hoodie looks ridiculously large on said Japanese man, but its dark color suits him. Kanda is satisfied that it covers most of where the dress wouldn't and walks freely without his arms trying to frantically cover himself.

"Allen!" Said albino looks up to the source of the voice, seeing Road stick her head out of the window. "There's a special brand of chocolate silk pie that I want you to get for me. It's in a pretty unfamous town…"

"Why would you want a pie from an un-famous place?" Allen inquires, unwilling to go anywhere at the moment. "Where is this so-called town anyway?"

Road smiles one of her more mysterious, mischievous smiles. "The town is called Shatel. Down south a couple miles from here," she says.

"Shatel," Allen rolls the name around his tongue. _'I can't say I've ever heard of it…'_ "…Fine. But you're giving me money to pay for it." Road casually drops down several bills down from her spot, and Allen runs to catch them, stuffing them down into his pocket.

"I'd like to have it back in about… three days." Allen's head snaps up.

"If it's just a couple miles away, why would it take three days?" he asks, wary.

"No reason." Road smiles pleasantly and waves. "Take your time. Enjoy yourselves." _'What's there to enjoy?' _Kanda thinks.

"What's the brand name?" Allen says.

"It's not really popular, so I don't remember it. The pie from that village just tastes better than most. Now go!" she shoos. Allen rolls his eyes. "By the way, I want five of those pies. You want to take Kanda with you," she adds. He shrugs, taking said brunet with him, fast-walking down south.

Lenalee turns to Road questioningly. "Why of all things would you want _pie_?" Road sticks out her tongue. "Really Road, _five_ pies? You're going to get sick."

"What's wrong with pie?" she asks, offended. "I plan to share them with you and the twins." She licks her lips. "Besides, getting the pies isn't the main point of the trip…"

"Eh? What do you mean?" Lenalee asks, inquiring.

Road smiles deviously with a tiny giggle. "If things go my way… then it'll be good."


	6. The Town of Shatel

Breaking in the Darkness

Chapter Six: The Town of Shatel

Kanda feels uncomfortable with the staring eyes, and for once wishes he isn't so tall as he raises the hood of the sweatshirt over his head, covering half of his face. Allen could've sworn that some of those eyes were set in _drooling _faces. Allen glares straight ahead with a scowl gracing his normally calm, smiling face. They were _drooling _over something that belongs to _him_! He straightens his back. Well, he's fine with that. He _does not _have issues. "There's a bakery, let's go, Kanda. I think the pie that Road wants is in there," he says loudly enough for people within a seven feet radius could hear.

He tows Kanda again, thinking that it might be better if Road dresses Kanda in more decent clothing. At least out in public. "Can you be a _little _more gentle?" Finally, an opinion from the non talkative man.

"Hm… no," Allen says cheerfully with a sadistic smile. Kanda mumbles under his breath. As they walk into the shop, the little bell at the top of the door rings. The bakery is warm and smells of freshly baked breads, cakes, and other such pastries and tarts. Allen breathes in deeply with undisguised pleasure, seeing why Road would want baked goods from _here_ in some town he's never even heard of before. At the counter, he asks the cashier person for the pie that Road has asked for. The person points to one of the large tables in the room, and Allen six pies together, but stops to think for a minute, and then leaves them on the table. "You aren't going to buy them?" Kanda asks.

"Nah, we still have two more days remember? 'Sides, fresh goods taste best right after you buy them," Allen says.

"I guess…" Kanda says. "What do you propose we do now?" Allen looks at him. _'Personally, I want to do you right now but…'_

"Let's just go for a walk," the silver-eyed man says.

"Aa… okay." There honestly isn't much to see in a town as small and boring as this, but Allen can't really complain when Kanda is completely relaxed and by his side.

"Actually, I'm sort of hungry. Maybe I'll buy a pie after all," Allen says, leaving Kanda's side for the time being. Kanda nods, standing motionlessly in place. As Allen leaves, Kanda sits down, dipping his feet into the waters of the thing river stream. The water is pleasantly cool, lapping gently at his feet. His reflection wavers in the clear liquid, and for the first time in months he sees his face. He touches his face. He is thinner, paler than he remembers, and he looks, much to his horror… weak and helpless. The humiliation he will have to endure if Lavi were here to see him now. "Now you really look girly, Yu-_chan_!" he knows Lavi will say. He pulls his feet away from the tickling, nibbling mouths of the rippling creek fish. He leans against the base of the tree, his eyes half lidded with exhaustion. Is it alright to sleep unprotected? The him from before would take Mugen everywhere, but he isn't allowed to do that now. He wonders when has become so submissive, doing everything he is told. He did as he is told when he was back _there_, he couldn't remember the name now, but he always protests, he always fights back in one way shape or form. Such a difference there is now. "Kanda Yu" should be labeled as two completely different people.

He draws his feet out of the cool water, wiping off the liquid with his hand. Some things don't change, but he even sees the sun differently when it sets, like it might be last time he sees it. He doesn't trust the Noah family to keep him alive. _'Or maybe I'll die by then.'_ Speaking of said lotus, how many petals have fallen since he's been "absent" from _there_?

He yawns, covering his mouth like polite people do. Back _there_, he could have never himself to yawn when someone is present. That's one thing that hasn't changed. The endless twittering chatter of the swallowtails soon lulls him to a dreamless sleep.


	7. A Little Bit Closer

Breaking in the Darkness

Chapter Seven: A Little Bit Closer

"Kanda." Kanda turns, pressing his side snuggly against the tree. "Kanda," the voice calls, slightly louder, a hint of impatience delicately lacing the edges. He rolls onto his back, trying to ignore the voice. "Wake up!" There is a sharp pain in his side, but it thankfully subsides to a dull ache for a few minutes as he hisses, opening his eyes in a narrow slit.

"Good, you're awake," Allen says, pleased. Kanda frowns displeased being disturbed from a nap. He hasn't slept in awhile… thanks to a certain someone.

-----

To say that Komui was worried was an understatement. Where on earth was Lenalee! His mind screeches. (As much as he cares for the other Exorcists, he's secretly glad that Lavi's not around. No man that dates his sister deserves his sympathy, but he can't help but feel worried that Lavi might be with Lenalee right now.) Huge rivers of tears pour from his eyes as he randomly stamps the sheets, and the Science Department don't bother to pay attention. He sighs miserably, and Reever frowns, yelling loudly in Komui's face. "KEEP WORKING, Supervisor!" The white coated man slumps against the table, pouting.

Reever rolls his eyes. "I can see you're not going to get anything done," he grouses. "Fine…" his lips pinch together, because he knows he'll regret this, "you can work on your stupid experiments…" Komui brightens; he glares, "but only for 15 minutes. No more."

-----

Kanda tries to ignore Allen, closing his eyes again, only to feel the sensation of his hair being tugged on. Hard. He pushes away Allen's hands, and they come back, tugging playfully hard.

"What do you want?" he asks, irritated.

Allen shrugs. "If you notice," he says dryly, "it's night." The Japanese youth looks up into the sky, the stars scattered beautifully, shiny balls of fire among duller ones, blanketing as far as he eyes can see. He smiles in the darkness, and Allen watches him. "Let's find someplace to stay for the night," he suggests, his hand wrapping round Kanda's as said Japanese boy nods.

-----

"I've done it!" Komui shouts blissfully, and some of the Science Departments turns their heads to look at what horrendous creation he's done this time. There is no giant, eight legged robot this time to everyone's surprise, and in his hand, raised high in the air, was a glass flask, filled with questionable bubbling neon green liquid.

"What'd you do _this_ time?" Reever asks warily.

"So mean!" Komui exclaims. He waves the flask a little, catching the Science Department's rapt attention. "I…" he pauses for dramatic affect, "created a potion!"

"Yes, we see that," Reever says impatiently. "Now get to work."

"Noooo…. I haven't explained what it does yet!" Komui whines. "You see… it…." At the exact moment, a black bird swoops in, grabbing the vial in its beak. "NOOOOO!" he screams. "My potion!" Reever pinches Komui's ear.

"Yes, now BACK TO WORK!" he says, dragging a wailing Chinese man.

-----

Road smiled as a small black bird pecks insistently on the glass of her window. She walks over, allowing it to fly in, and Lenalee narrows her eyes suspiciously. "What's with the bird?" she accuses.

Road removes the flask from the bird's beak, watching the contents swirl round for a bit. "Oh nothing," she replies cheerfully. "It's just something that'll I be needing when Allen and Yu-_chan_ comes back."

Lenalee sighs. She's sure that Road isn't up to any good.

-----

"Are we done waiting yet?"

"…she hasn't given the signal yet," Lavi replies.

"But I'm hungry," Tag complains. "The last time we stole food was when? Half a day ago?"

"Just a liiiiitle bit longer, Tag."

-----

Kanda sits in the middle of the large bed, looking very small and frail. Allen sits by the window, which takes up the entire wall as he listlessly shuffles his poker cards. They were beautiful, and must expensive too, since Kanda can tell that they are hand painted. Allen spreads the cards out on the table, fingering each card. He looks to Kanda, smiling playfully.

"Play a game?" he asks, gesturing to the cards as he gathers and reshuffles them, stacking them up neatly into a pile. Kanda gets up, eyeing Allen carefully as he sits across from him.

"Just a game?" Kanda says.

"It could be more if you want," Allen replies.

"_Iie_… not thanks." Allen pouts.

"I don't know about you, but I'm up for a game of poker." Kanda has often been told by Lavi that Allen is a horned demon when it comes to poker, but surely it can't be that bad compared to what he has seen over the period of time he has been on the Ark.

"One game," Kanda says, and Allen smiles, dealing out the cards.

The minutes tick by slowly, Kanda's eyes narrow and Allen is persistently smiling calmly, cards fanned out in his hands. Somehow, after the first few rounds, it has turned into strip poker, much to Kanda's horror. The pile on Allen's side is steadily growing, and Kanda wishes that he has listened to Lavi to never _ever_ go up against the albino.

-----

"I need to go to the restroom," Lenalee complains, standing up from the same seat she has been sitting in for four hours.

"Not yet!" Road says. "I'm not done with this painting yet!" The Noah is in the midst of finishing her last assignment for school, and frankly, the Chinese girl doesn't give a hoot, not when her butt's all numb.

"I need to go," she insists. She feels guilty (very much) that she has left Lavi and Tag waiting in enemy territory for such an incredibly long time, and she knows she'll have to eventually alert them. At least, on her trip to the restroom, she can tell them they can relax for a bit, maybe even manage to sneak them into the private room that Road has graciously given her for some odd reason.

Road sighs as she sets down her paintbrush. "Fine, but only for a few minutes," she says reluctantly. "I trust that you know where the lavatory is?" Lenalee nods, walking out of the room, stretching her legs.

She has refused to give up her Dark Boots, making sure they were always kept on her legs. There is no way that she is walking through the Ark with the danger of being mauled by an Akuma.

Great, I think I'm lost, she thinks to herself, but that's supposed to be Allen's strong point, not hers. The place is disorienting, and almost as large as headquarters. She remembers getting lost half of time back when she was 13, so at least she has an excuse right now.

Lenalee squeaks as she bumps into something tall and hard, meeting an amused, golden gaze, eyes that are every bit as mischievous as Road's. "Oh, an Exorcist. You're quite far away from your flock of sheep."

Lenalee frowns, glaring sharply Tyki. "Y-your point? I'm not here on vacation you know!"

Tyki smiles. "Here to save Allen then? You're a little late for that."

She grits her teeth. "Yes, and to think I haven't noticed earlier," she says sarcastically.

"So where's that Jr. Bookman always seen hopping around you?" he asks.

"What's it to you?" Lenalee snaps. "You've already gotten to Allen. You're not taking Lavi."

"What would _I _do you with_your _bunny?" Tyki asks innocently.

"Who know?" Lenalee shivers. "Play and then kill him afterwards, most likely." She wonders if Lavi is listening, up there with Tag.

-----

Kanda is down to his last item of clothing, with Allen's tie and his vest on his side, while Allen has a pile on his side consisting of Kanda's hair tie, the hoodie, and the red dress. "Royal flush," Allen's voice softly rings melodically. Kanda is still, looking down at his lap, flushed bright red. To give it up, or not to give it up. That is the question.

Allen's fingers tap impatiently against the table. "I won," he says.

"You can have it, but I'm not taking it off," Kanda says.

"If you give me it, I won't bother you if you deem it annoying for the next week." That's a good deal, and taking off his last preserve of modesty almost seems to be worth it, and he might've done it if it weren't for the look in Allen's eyes.

"I don't know…."

"One month," Allen mouths. Off with it.


End file.
